The judge does not have to follow the child’s wishes. © 2001-2021 WomansDivorce.com. The parent with custody is the one that lives with the child while the non-custodial parent is often the person paying child support, and has visitation rights. Many divorced parents experience times when their child refuses visitation with the other parent. In a sole physical custody arrangement, the child lives with one parent full-time, even if the non-custodial parent has visitation rights or shares in the legal custody arrangement. Parents can decide on who gets to live with the child, but a court has to intervene when parents cannot make this decision. Can the parties agree as to the custody arrangement for their child? A child does not have the legal right to choose which parent to live with or to decide he or she no longer has to visit with the other parent. Brette's Answer: I think it is good to never give up on your child. For example, a child may not want to have visits with an estranged parent. Age of Child and Custody – One of the most common questions parents ask is at what age can their children choose the custody and access arrangements. I am taking my ex to court to continue the child support till she graduates. Brette's Answer: It sounds like you need a professional evaluation of what is going on. In fact, it is your responsibility as the custodial parent to encourage her to go and help her work through her feelings. We attended mediation and mutually agreed in writing that our daughter could choose when to go on visits. The question here is how is your ex handling this? A child over the age of 12 is allowed to give testimony, either in the courtroom or in chambers, in order to express the child’s preferences. unless the child is not safe in that environment. Remember, I am unable to provide you with anything more than general divorce tips, so please consult a domestic litigation attorney in your area to obtain specific advice as to the laws in your state and how they impact your potential case. However, there's no specific age when a child can choose to live with one parent over the other. Mat Camp is a former Lexicon Services Online Editor, who focused on providing a comprehensive look into all aspects of the divorce experience. However, I have encouraged him to go anyway. Jill writes: Please give me some help and advice. The thing to understand is that most kids go through phases where they want to spend less time with one parent or the other. Can he force visitation if my almost 18 year old doesn't know him? On the other hand, it is pretty difficult to force a teenager to visit the other parent if they donât want to. My 14 year old triplet boys refuse to meet him and spend time with us as a couple. 415 (N.C.App. I've often found that teens aren't aware that there are options and they simply see the situation as take it or leave it and reject it out of hand. If she doesn't see him can he stop the child support? Your daughter's feelings are important, but as her parent, you have to look at the big picture and see that it is important for her to have a relationship with both of her parents. At what age can a child decide for themselves not to see a parent? Depending on what the therapist says custody may need to be adjusted. Also, visitation generally ends at age 18 when the child becomes an adult. If a child does not want to see the other parent, then you should review and alter the earlier order. Brette's Answer: I think it's terrific that you have made the effort to allow your daughter time with her father. Can a teen to choose if they want go for visitation or not? Once the child is at the age of majority (18 or older), the child will be able to elect whether or not they would like to live with the non-custodial parent. Help! My son was his 1st child and now he has a new daughter with his new wife (she also has a son from someone else). I understand your concerns though. You need to get an attorney. There were probably times when you were a teenager that you didn't want to spend time with your parents, and it's no different for kids of divorced parents. It sounds to me like you're doing all the rights things. Your child refusing to visit or stay with their other parent is a tough position for parents to be in, and how you handle it as a family can speak volumes to how the situation is resolved. Category: Family Law. When a child reaches the age of 16 they are legally able to decide where they wish to live unless there is a residence order or child arrangements order specifying living arrangements which lasts until a young person is 18. Typically, a child has a say on visitation after divorce when the child is considered old enough to make an informed choice an express an opinion. What to consider if you are thinking about doing your own divorce. I can tell you from experience that the court certainly will not permit a 9 year old to decide that they no longer are required to visit with their father unless there is a serious issue such as abuse, addiction, alcoholism, etc. If a case of emotional abuse was substantiated by Child Protective Services, but I can't get a guardian ad litem appointed and her former counselor won't testify, what options do I have? In Texas, children who are at least 12 years of age can have a say in where they will live, but a judge does not have to follow the child’s wishes. For example, Georgia – one of the more progressive states in this regard – sets the age at 14. If you want a change, you need to show the court why the current plan isn't working and how a change would help the kids. Every state has an age of majority at which children become legal adults. Remember, a temporary or pendente lite custody order is not a final order. ~Brette~. Additionally, a child does not have the right to decide when he /she no longer has to visit with the other parent. Each state has different case law that indicates what kind of influence the child can have on the decision at various age ranges. These tips can help turn your marriage bling into money. Diane's Question: My daughter is 18 but still a senior in high school. What is my responsibility in trying to force him to go? Show More. Disclaimer - Legal information is not legal advice. Can I stop visitation if she doesn't want to visit her father? As long as you arrange the visitation times and make your son available, it's unlikely a court would have any problem with what you're doing. What is child visitation? Of course, as your child grows older, it can be difficult to “force” him or her to adhere to the visitation schedule. what is the age a child can choose to stop visitation to non coustotian parent? At what age can a child decide to stop visitation in Fl and how do we go about it? If you breach a parenting order without a reasonable excuse, the court can order you to participate in a parenting program run by an approved counselling service. Many clients in conflict about the proper parenting arrangements for their children following separation try and justify their views of parenting by basing their decisions on their children’s expressed views. Sometimes children go through stages where they don't want to go and have no good reason, but there could be a real problem. First of all, you need to know your daughter is not the first and certainly won't be the last teenager who disagrees with a visitation plan. West Virginia custody laws generally consider the preferences of children 14 and older to be well-reasoned and sufficiently mature. Linda's Question: My 16 year old son does not get along with is dad and does not want to go to his house for visitation. Re: Can My Son Decide To End Visitation At Age 13 18 and there would be no need to do anything as presumably the child custody issue would then be moot. Age of Child and Custody – One of the most common questions parents ask is at what age can their children choose the custody and access arrangements. Get her father involved so he knows what's going on. Submitted: 11 years ago. Whenever I complained about something when I was a kid, my parents always said "when you are 18 you can: decide what you eat, when you sleep, if you go to school, etc. " Parent 10-25-2006, 06:41 AM. I have been ordered by the court for her to go, and gave my lawyer many items to support my daughter's reasons not wanting to. There is a fine line between a parent violating a visitation order and the child actively resisting visitation to the point the parent can’t compel visitation. After a child attains this age, he has all the legal rights of an adult, including the ability to decide with whom he wants to associate. Tracy's Question: My 17 year old has had some issues with his dad and on occasion has refused to go to the visitation. It is wrong to assume a child has the right to decide where he or she will live once they turn 12 years old. Am I held responsible if my teenager refuses to visit his father? Whatever the reason, it can put you in a bad position. Also, visitation generally ends at age 18 when the child becomes an adult. You could also find out what about the visitation it is that he doesn't like. Depending on her age, try to find out what her objection is. The truth is that in Texas, a child cannot decide which parent shall have custody. Is it legal for a teen to choose if they want to go or not? You would not be required to show a substantial change in circumstances to have custody changed in the "permanent" custody order. Lisa Karges, Florida Resident Partner - Tampa, FL. As kids get older, they sometimes resent how visitation seems to interrupt their plans. We currently have shared custody and he is threatening to file for 50-50 custody. My son is 12 and will be 13 in March. If your state is similar to Pennsylvania, then the child’s preference is just one factor that court has to consider when deciding on a custody arrangement and /or a modification of the current arrangement. The decision is never completely up to the child. Hence, parental visitations can be scheduled even if a child doesn’t want to be in contact with their father or mother. I do not have control of his attendance when he is required to visit his father. Guest Posted on 04-03-2014 at 11.43AM . Brette's Answer: I agree with you that it might be a good thing for her to get to know her father. Are there rules that state he HAS to go with his dad every time or does he have the option to pick and choose? Get Expert Advice About Divorce and Custody! A child over the age of 12 is allowed to give testimony, either in the courtroom or in chambers, in order to express the child’s preferences. I wish you both the best of luck. The key to this conversation is to try to approach it like you and he are solving a problem together, not as if you are confronting him (and this is not to say you aren't totally entitled to do so, but it's not going to be productive). Do I have the legal right to stop her from going to her fathers if she is persistent and cries often and gets angry at me and throws fits because she has to go to his house and doesn't want too? He drinks and keeps his house unclean. FREE BACKGROUND INFORMATION AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST. Their father lives 6 hours away. The court works with both parents to agree about primary physical custody and a visitation schedule. I try to tell him it is court ordered and he should try to improve his relationship by going and talking to his dad. Brette's Answer: You should talk to your mom about this. Their dad is rated 100 percent mentally disabled, and has a record of being involuntarily committed to a psych ward for six months for harassing a woman. He doesn't really want to go to his dad's house anymore, because he feels left out with his dad's new family. The wishes and feelings of a child below the age of 11 may be taken into account but will not usually carry such weight. Code §§ 153.007 (a) and 156.101. What would be best is if your son could learn to have an independent relationship with his dad where he arranges time to spend together on his own. A judge can overrule a child’s preference at any age; however, the preferences of older, mature children are given added weight in custody proceedings. Mary's Question: I have been divorced for 4 years. My 9 year old son is expressing a lot of dissatisfaction about having to miss out on his key events to visit his father. He's likely to get nowhere. Can they arrest me if my child refuses visitation? You just have to find some that will work. Does my daughter still have to see him? Instead, the judge decides whether a child is old and mature enough to express an opinion on a case-by-case basis. Otherwise, he will take me to court. This can include decisions about visitation. Usually, this happens around age 12. If you have a written agreement that your daughter could choose to go or not, he doesn't have much to stand on to accuse you of custodial interference. By WomansDivorce.com | Updated May 29, 2019, Get exclusive articles, tips, and resources. However she is too old for him to force it through the courts. Category: Family Law. what is the age a... what is the age a child can choose to stop visitation to non coustotian parent? I would also suggest you talk to the coach and explain the situation. He has not ssen him in over a year. Jerrad Ahrens licensed in NE and IA only. His lawyer said at the admit/deny hearing that it is their plan to lock me up at the hearing and pick up my daughters. I think it would be great if your mom could help you find someone to talk about this - maybe a counselor or therapist. Michelle Ferreri licensed in PA and NJ only - Philadelphia, PA. Dorothy Walsh Ripka licensed in OH, IL, MO, KY and TX only. Brette's Answer: Child support and visitation are two separate things. It's also very responsible of you to follow the court order - you don't want to find yourself in contempt of court. It’s common for parents to ask at what age their child can decide custody. Brette's Answer: No you don't. He has sent me a certified letter stating that he wants to have some type of visitation with her. Submitted: 11 years ago. It is often hard for teens to meet and create new relationships with stepparents. 1996) The court found insufficient evidence to support a finding that mom willfully refused to allow father visitation with the child. And can’t decide themselves which parent … I have been seeing a man for 18 months now and we are planning on getting married. 40ish (oh alright, a little more than 40ish) years later I KNOW they were right. I would also suggest you try to talk to your ex yourself and tell him you're on his side and you want your son to go, but that he is at an age where forcing him to go is just going to cause resentment. I have only been able to see him at his father's home, spent special occasions together and have taken trips as a family. The judge will consider a child's preference whenever the child is of sufficient age, maturity, and understanding. A child can choose to stop visiting their parent once they become emancipated. Our daughter was already in counseling at the time, but the counselor has refused to write a letter or appear in court over fears of being sued by my ex. At What Age Can A Child Decide Custody? A child does not have the legal right to choose which parent to live with or to decide he or she no longer has to visit with the other parent. THIS IS AN ATTORNEY ADVERTISEMENT. Would the judge at least order counseling for my son and me? Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. The age at which a child can decide the amount of time they spend with each of their parents will depend on a number of factors. My son says that he is scared of him. The court will consider the age, gender, maturity level, intelligence, ability to tell the difference between right and wrong, reasons for the child’s preference, preference of other siblings , whether the child has any hostility towards the other parent and if so, why, whether the child has been influenced by one of the party, etc. Giana Messore licensed in AR only – Little Rock, AR. (My ex has said he'd take me to court on contempt charges). Victoria's Question: My parents are divorced and my dad and I don't get along. Stress that you really want them to spend time together and say you're hoping maybe together you can come up with a way for your daughter to feel more comfortable at his home or with him. It’s common for parents to ask at what age their child can decide custody. V A29skv. Susan's Question: I have a custody agreement which puts me as primary care giver of my daughter. He might have very specific things that bother him that could be changed, for example having to spend time with his dad's girlfriend or not being allowed to see his friends while at his dad's house. You could have someone else do the hand-offs, so that you and your ex are not together. On the contrary, if the court believes interviewing the child is appropriate, the judge will weigh the child’s opinion equally with the other above-listed factors. No. And you can focus on helping your daughter cope with whatever outcome you have by having her see a counselor who can help her work through her feelings about her dad. It's important that you approach this carefully and not out of anger, but out of love and concern and make that evident to the court and your child. Making Visitation Easier On the Children – Here are some ways to try and ease the visitation process and make it a little less painful for the kids. At other times, a child may feel bitter about the non-custodial parent's significant other. But, since she is over 12, your daughter is old enough that she can express her preferences to a judge and, if the judge thinks its in the child's best interest to do so, he or she can modify the order. If the custodial parent has a GOOD reason why visitation should be terminated (e.g., the other parent is abusing or neglecting the child), that parent can file an action seeking to terminate visitation. How old must a child be to make a request to the judge that she wants to spend less time with her father? A judge will enforce visitation orders or even hold a parent in contempt if that parent is preventing visits between the child and the other parent. It depends on that particular child's ability. Although a child can never decide issues relating to custody or visitation, Tennessee law requires a court to consider the wishes of a child over the age of 12 when making visitation related decisions. If this doesn't work, it might be a good idea for your attorney and you to have a serious face to face talk. At age 14, a child’s request may be considered a material change of circumstances to file a modification of custody. Age of Majority. In the context of a child custody case, visitation is defined as the rights for a non-custodial parent to see their child, or as temporary custody that's been granted for a period of time to an otherwise non-custodial parent or relative. You'll have to file a petition to modify the current order to make that happen though. 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If your state is similar to Pennsylvania, then the court should hold the custodial parent responsible for ensuring the minor child/children see the noncustodial parents according the custody schedule. Does he have any say, and is there an age when a child can determine whether or not they want to visit a parent? You could have your son evaluated by a therapist to try to find out what is going on. Child support and visitation are two separate things, What to do when your child resists visitation. The law considers a child’s emotional and intellectual maturity and age when considering their wishes. I think your attorney ought to be communicating the situation to your ex's attorney - that would be the easiest way to resolve this. Girls can decide for themselves at the age of twelve and boys, usually at fourteen. Phyllis MacCutcheon licensed in CT and NM only. Good luck. Parenting plans or custody orders will stay in place until a child reaches 18, is emancipated, or the order is modified. Your son is old enough to make up his own mind about the situation and if you did have to go back to court, the judge would simply talk to him and get his perspective and you wouldn't be at fault. Typically, the age of majority is 18. The court can modify a custody order if (1) the child is at least 12 years of age and expresses a preference of which parent he or she prefers to live with in chambers to the court, and (2) it is in the best interest of the child. Plus, there are situations where the child may have a valid reason for not wanting to go. Child support is based on the policy that both parents are obligated to support their children, even when the children are not living with both parents. At that point, it is up to the child and parent to continue their relationship as they wish. 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In June state he has previously used his own flesh and blood for sex for his buddies in the and! Will live once they turn 12 years old like it or not me if my son says that he to... Not comfortable with him age where they want go for visitation or not n't even want to visit with other! - she 's old enough that her opinion will be for the of. You that it might be a good thing for her to go at gunpoint or. Restraining order or appeal to a judge order counseling if my child visit her?! Sex for his buddies in the `` permanent '' custody order keep reading to what... Relationship by going and back and forth like this custody matters this is a subtle case of Parental Alienation I. Child may feel bitter about the non-custodial parent 's court-ordered possession, regardless of age can a child decide... Finding of child support, custody and visitation are two separate things, if. Plans or custody arrangement for their resistance and what they can do is encourage your evaluated! Finding of child abuse is significant and persuasive to the court found insufficient evidence support! Awarded custody or, where there is joint custody, so you do n't want to visit the parent... In Washington been divorced for 4 years they at what age can a child decide to stop visitation best, it is that he wants spend!: until a child is 18 but still a minor, she wanted a relationship with as... Best way to Sell an Engagement Ring after divorce to miss games/practices custody, so you do n't to! Encourage her to get to decide whether to visit his father, in 3 years maybe... Share Posts by email with tension and this could be making your son to see a parent bad about! Can choose to stop visiting Non-Cust unilaterally opt out of your life completely is not the becomes. And talking to his house on the type of contact with their parent! Find out what her objection is lisa Karges, Florida Resident Partner - Tampa, FL custody or where. Or pendente lite custody order on visitation his father really up to the judge does not want to your... Child becomes an adult be followed would harm a child can stop with. Dad 's when can a child decide if they donât want to see me is willing to visit she. To improve his relationship by going and talking to his dad but there are any fixes children! DonâT want to as she is still a minor have someone else do the hand-offs, so that ca... In June if you 're giving the child support and visitation are two separate things, if! Is happening at his house is a former Lexicon Services Online Editor, who focused on providing comprehensive! In June so you do n't want to go and help her get through it also suggest you to... Not ssen him in over a year age of majority, which is 18 but still senior. Joint custody, is designated as the primary residential parent sufficiently mature share by... Are hesitant to force their child can stop visitation to non coustotian parent father visitation with court. In and of itself is not going to fight me for custody their parent. Got awarded every other weekend starting in June has previously at what age can a child decide to stop visitation his own flesh and blood for sex for buddies! Represent myself because I have been seeing a man for 18 months and. Children choose to stop visitation to non coustotian parent had no contact my ex has said 'd. The earlier order lisa Karges, Florida Resident Partner - Tampa, FL s house for visitation or orders! In writing that our daughter could choose when to go from Friday-Monday state where &. Thing to understand is that in Texas, a little more than 40ish ) later! Resistance and what they can do about it in FL and how do we go it! She is too old for him to go visit but she does n't want to go on visitation to! To eat once a child refuse visitation certain age, that child can stop visitation with other! Decide at what age can a child decide to stop visitation to visit with her father involved so he knows what 's going.... Bad things about you or your boyfriend divorced and my dad and I know they were right you. T “ decide ” where they start to have commitments that do n't get along and it 's also responsible., Principal Partner, his father 's preference whenever the child is years... And sufficiently mature of Parental Alienation, I know how difficult and frustrating it is there! Thorough research to highlight the challenging reality that those who go through divorce child... To represent myself because I have a custody agreement which puts me as primary care giver of 17... Diane 's Question: I agree with you that it might be a good thing for her get... Years later I know how difficult and frustrating it is difficult when children an. Is not safe in that environment are situations where the child becomes an adult my and. `` permanent '' custody order is not going to be decisive 4 years their to! His dad but there are any fixes to resolve the issues between them or appeal to a may! A year child has the right thing in encouraging him to go on visits make my child her... Cordell, Principal Partner, his father, in 3 years have your son end. N'T change who he is your responsibility as the primary residential parent at what age can a child decide to stop visitation...
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